Letting Up Despite Great Faults

Before I update you with any interesting news, let me first express my undying love for caffeinated beverages. Without them, I would not be awake (or alive) right now.

Another night of less than 4 hours of sleep. I'm probably destroying any miniscule amount of my immune system that still exists. But hey, I'm out doing things, being productive, and creating memories. Much more meaningful than sleep. Anyways, so last night I drove to Silver Lake to practice with the band I joined recently to sing and play keyboard/synth in. Its called Letting Up Despite Great Faults. They're an indie/electronic band, so if you're into that kind of music, feel free to check us out: http://www.myspace.com/lettingup. I'm not featured in any of the songs on the myspace yet, but I've recorded a few songs with them so far and there are more to come. We plan on playing live again very soon, so if you live in LA you should come check us out. I'll post the date, time, and location on here in advance when we are going to be performing. So basically last night I was shown how to use the midi controller and other equipment that I'll be using on stage. I'm pretty excited to play live again. I haven't had the opportunity to play music on stage for people since Tilvera which was about 3 years ago. Well, thats not counting the ridiculous little set of cover songs that Rebecca and I played at that cafe. But thats not my own music, so that doesn't count. But yeah, pretty psyched. I'm still going to be writing my own music though because the music that the band plays isn't entirely what I want to be doing. So, I'm not giving up on my own songs.

As far as today goes, I woke up after my unsatisfying 4 hours of sleep and went to statistics class. After those riveting two hours, I went to the theater arts building to read through my new acting scene with my scene partner. It seems like an interesting scene and my character is dazed and mysterious; much different from my incestuous previous character with the brilliant line, "I wanna see your dick".

In the middle of the scene read-through, I received a phone call from an 813 (Tampa, Florida) area code. This person with an obviously fake accent tried to convince me that he is from DC and I have been chosen to receive a $7,000 grant. After about 15 minutes of trying to convince me to go to "Western Union" in Santa Monica to pick up the money, I asked to speak to his supervisor. When the "supervisor" came on the phone and it was clearly the same voice, I called him out on it, laughing, and he hung up. Fun stuff. I tried calling him out in the beginning with the Tampa area code, but he just kept going.

Following that fun event, I walked the two miles back to the satellite parking, got groceries, and went home. Currently I'm sitting in a coffee shop (big shock) due to the heat once again. Well, and I'm also waiting for my photos to finish printing at Costo. Oh boy. Exciting, right? Well, it looks like they should be done printing by now, so I'm going to go pick them up and head down to the gym. I'm finally getting a membership after my monolithic ass finished off a horrifically large box of pastries that my friend gave me from the bakery he works at.

OH! Before I go, I wanted to express my excitement about this movie thats coming out called "Wild Target". It seems like a typical British comedy and it should be coming into theaters in the U.S. on October 29th. Its got Rupert Grint! Man, I can't believe I've had a thing for that kid since I was in 7th grade. Funny how some things never change. Anyways, check out the trailer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaA2lvuv76Y

POW POW

Its currently around 5 pm. I'm sitting inside a coffee shop for the 3rd day in a row solely because its literally impossible to breathe in my apartment. The heat wave here in LA is absolutely ridiculous and not having air conditioning is death. I realized that I didn't get to write last night, so I'll let you know now what shenanigans I've been up to.

So after 5 hours of enjoying the air conditioning of a coffee shop yesterday, I went home as it started to get dark, thinking that it would probably have cooled down in my little studio apartment by then. I was mistaken. It also seems that I have a gas leak of some sort in my apartment. Great.
Anyways, I was happy to have nothing to do for the rest of the day. No plans. Nobody to see. Nobody to take home. I spoke too soon. Two minutes later I received a message from my friend who works as a scout for Atlantic Records telling me that I'm coming with him to The Smell to see this electronic band called Fartbarf. Classy name, right? So, ignoring the fact that I had to get up at 6 am for class the next morning, within an hour, I went from getting ready to spend the night alone, cozy in my bed with a book or watching a good foreign film to driving downtown to one of the shittiest little venues in LA to see this odd, obscure band. I really do love how spontaneous my life can be.
So, the first band was quite horrific. I was starting to get discouraged, but then once Fartbarf started playing I was actually very impressed. They were all dressed in matching white pants, white button down shirts, and the creepiest masks I've ever seen. Thats when I realized that I get turned on by the smell of the rubber that is used to make halloween masks. Interesting revelation for me. I'm even stranger than I thought.
The band played a great set and made good use of a vocoder, which I found to be extremely entertaining. The only thing that would have made it better is if it weren't hot as balls in there. I just felt bad for the three band members wearing the suffocating masks. I managed to get home by around 1 am and get at least a few hours of sleep before I had to get up for Statistics this morning.

As far as today goes, I took a nap to make up for my lack of sleep last night and prepare myself for tonight. Thanks to a friend of a friend I'm going to be in LCD Soundsystem's music video for their new song "Pow Pow", along with Anna Kendrick. My call time is at 10 pm and I'll be there till 3 am. Looks like I won't be getting much sleep tonight either seeing that I have to get up at 7:30 for my Acting 2 class tomorrow morning. Three cheers for caffeinated beverages...?

Okay, before I go, I just want to express my undying love for this new CD I bought. Its by a band called Pantha du Prince and the album is called "Black Noise". It came out earlier this year, but I just started listening to it a few weeks ago. I can't turn it off. Its amazing electronica/dance music and NOT "Tibetan Pygmy Music" as one of my non-musically inclined friends called it. I definitely suggest anyone who hasn't heard of them to check out that album. While you're at it, give Fartbarf a listen as well. I was actually kind of impressed by them. They're fun to listen to if you like synths. I kind of thought they sounded like a mixture of Eiffel 65 and The Bloodhound Gang. Its something interesting.

R & R doesn't exist.

Short entry today.

So I was under the impression that today would consist of me sitting in my apartment and reading all day, trying to get better. Did that happen? Not at all. After an hour of dying in my sauna of an apartment, I decided a coffee shop was a better choice. Melting wasn't on my agenda for today. After a few hours of that, a friend dropped by and we wandered aimlessly for a few hours before he got a call that his ride was drunk, so I had to drive downtown to drop him off at home.

On another note (which I'll go into more detail about later), I bought this book called Old Souls. Its the most captivating book I've ever read. I'm an Agnostic and there isn't much that can change that, but this book is basically scientific proof (through case studies done by a brilliant psychiatrist on over 2,000 children ages 2-5 over a period of 37 years) that reincarnation exists. Its mind blowing. I recommend it to anyone who is curious.

Also, I feel a change of some sort coming. Not sure if its positive or negative. But, I have a feeling that it isn't good. I may elaborate on this later, depending on the results.

I have an acting scene to do in the morning, so, I suppose rest is necessary. Especially since I'm still healing. Until tomorrow.

Little Secrets.

So today (well, I guess technically yesterday) was pretty fantastic to say at the least. Although I'm sick, I managed to have a very fulfilling day. But hey, thats how it always is for me (which is probably a contributing factor to my illness), I'm constantly on the go. One of my friends managed to get 4 tickets to go see a private VIP acoustic set of Passion Pit in this tiny studio room. It was us and literally 15 other people. Seeing Passion Pit play acoustically was so strange, but they pulled it off nicely. We got to meet them and I got a nice feel of Michael's sweaty back. He was embarrassed, but I assured him it was alright because I embrace all contact with sweat of the famous.
...kidding.

After the show, we chilled for a bit and my "sick" started coming back, so I went back to my apartment and waited for my comedy group friends to arrive. Of course, the night is never complete without some disappointment. Out of 4 friends, 3 of them bailed. But we went back downtown and hung out with the friends from earlier and ended up having a great time.

I had an anti-social half hour or so while I spoke on the phone to an old friend whom I purposely lost contact with about a year ago. He was a pretty hardcore crystal meth addict and after a while I just couldn't deal with it anymore. He faked his death to me online a few months later. But...like always....I'm a carpet. A forgiving carpet. I welcomed him back into my life. Although its partially because I know that we live in different states now and I won't have to deal with his shenanigans in person anymore.


I'm feeling twice as sick as I was before, so its time to get some rest. I think I'll be spending the day in bed tomorrow. I'm kind of excited actually. I'm always doing something out of the house. It'll be more of an adventure to spend the day inside than it would be to go out. We'll see how it turns out.

Ratatat, Marina & the Diamonds, and a bit of insight

So, I started a blog a few months ago. Didn't keep it up. I'm trying this again. I'm not going to worry about being overly eloquent. I don't need to impress anyone. This is my life, my insight, my story. A tell-all about somebody you'll never know.


First thing's first.


For the first time, I feel like the "sane" one. Its like, I'm looking at everyone through a fisheye lens. Everybody is distorted and I'm the only one who appears normal. Let me elaborate.
A few months ago, I started saying yes to almost everything. Its been the key to my happiness and the best decision I've ever made, hands down. Yes, I've gotten into some potentially dangerous situations (like someone attempting to strangle me at a party), but its always worth the story if I make it out alive ;). I've made an effort to meet as many new, interesting people as possible. I almost never spend time alone. Its someone new every day doing something totally different. I'm in love with everyone but no one in specific. Everybody has something different, something unique to offer to me. I want it all. I love how everyone has a different craft. A different talent. A different passion. I've even managed to befriend some misanthropes, which is kind of flattering in a way.
I know, as a female, my view on life is a bit skewed. I know I'm not the only one, but, I don't have many girl friends. I guess its probably because men are less inclined to constantly complain and say things like, "My life is horrible. I have no friends. He/she doesn't like me. I want to kill myself. The world is hell." What do any of these people know of hell? Nothing. The world revolves around them and they wallow in their self pity day after day. The reason they aren't happy? They don't want to be.
Now, I'm an empathetic person. I know what it feels like to go through depression. I've been there. Done that. Taken medication. Gotten off of it. I no longer feel like my life is worthless. Etc. But these girls, they want people to give them attention. So much that they make claims to be suicidal over something as silly as a boy.
Anyways, I've shunned (for the most part) most women out of my life. I'm surrounded by guys and thats the way I like it. I know this brings up some controversy with a few people. For one, I'm aware that not all of these boys look at me as only a friend. Call me cold, but, its really not my concern. I'm not going to ruin a friendship by acknowledging the fact that someone wants to date me. I'm not interested in anything of the sort right now anyways. I just want to enjoy my life and see/do as much as possible. I don't need people getting attached to me. I feel like more of a guy then most of my male friends. Maybe its because I haven't allowed myself to get emotionally attached to anyone in fear of getting hurt? I'm not quite sure really but I'm willing to consider that as an option. But nevertheless, I'm happy with the way things are going.
Its funny to me, but, I've been having to coach my mom with dating. She's an incredible human being. Absolutely amazing. But she's a typical girl. Loves to be smothered in attention, flowers, and compliments. Doesn't know what to do if a guy doesn't text her for 2 days. That basic deal. Here's the best advice to any girl: if he's interested, he'll get in touch with you. but don't be afraid to show some initiative. Confidence is key. If you're happy with yourself and don't look desperate, the guy will fucking notice. Women read all these silly books on how to date, when its really the simplest thing in the world. If a guy wants to play games, he's not worth your time, effort, and waste of emotions. Unless, of course, you're one of those women who also likes to play games. If thats the case, then cut the bullshit and whining and deal with it.
If you can't be yourself around someone, how could you possibly think its going to work out? If someone can't handle the "real you", fuck them (not in the literal sense).

Wow. Strayed a bit there. I don't even know what I was leading up to. Guess I have a tendency to ramble. Or maybe just too much on my mind since (unlike every other living and breathing female) I don't constantly spill words to my friends without purpose. Its kind of a rule. With men, you don't talk much unless asked. Similarly, you don't take boyfriends shopping with you. If you want to destroy a perfectly good relationship, let them hold your purse in Macy's for 2 hours while you try on mini skirts and tube top dresses. Thats a surefire way to end it.


Okay, I'm done with this for the night. I'm getting sick and I should probably get some sleep. As I said previously, I'm constantly on the move in this new life of mine. Tomorrow morning/afternoon, seeing Passion Pit for an intimate and exclusive (being a total elitist snob for about 10 seconds here) show. Only about 20 people will be there. I'm excited, to say at the least. That'll be my third concert of the week actually. Marina and the Diamonds last Friday. Ratatat was on Tuesday (which was so fucking mind blowing by the way). And tomorrow, Passion Pit. I couldn't be happier.

Oh, and just so everyone here knows. I'm going to just be using this to update myself on my life events. Some posts will be novella sized (like this one), and some will be much shorter. I hope at least one person can find something interesting in these posts. If not, I'll enjoy reflecting on them myself.