So, I started a blog a few months ago. Didn't keep it up. I'm trying this again. I'm not going to worry about being overly eloquent. I don't need to impress anyone. This is my life, my insight, my story. A tell-all about somebody you'll never know.
First thing's first.
For the first time, I feel like the "sane" one. Its like, I'm looking at everyone through a fisheye lens. Everybody is distorted and I'm the only one who appears normal. Let me elaborate.
A few months ago, I started saying yes to almost everything. Its been the key to my happiness and the best decision I've ever made, hands down. Yes, I've gotten into some potentially dangerous situations (like someone attempting to strangle me at a party), but its always worth the story if I make it out alive ;). I've made an effort to meet as many new, interesting people as possible. I almost never spend time alone. Its someone new every day doing something totally different. I'm in love with everyone but no one in specific. Everybody has something different, something unique to offer to me. I want it all. I love how everyone has a different craft. A different talent. A different passion. I've even managed to befriend some misanthropes, which is kind of flattering in a way.
I know, as a female, my view on life is a bit skewed. I know I'm not the only one, but, I don't have many girl friends. I guess its probably because men are less inclined to constantly complain and say things like, "My life is horrible. I have no friends. He/she doesn't like me. I want to kill myself. The world is hell." What do any of these people know of hell? Nothing. The world revolves around them and they wallow in their self pity day after day. The reason they aren't happy? They don't want to be.
Now, I'm an empathetic person. I know what it feels like to go through depression. I've been there. Done that. Taken medication. Gotten off of it. I no longer feel like my life is worthless. Etc. But these girls, they want people to give them attention. So much that they make claims to be suicidal over something as silly as a boy.
Anyways, I've shunned (for the most part) most women out of my life. I'm surrounded by guys and thats the way I like it. I know this brings up some controversy with a few people. For one, I'm aware that not all of these boys look at me as only a friend. Call me cold, but, its really not my concern. I'm not going to ruin a friendship by acknowledging the fact that someone wants to date me. I'm not interested in anything of the sort right now anyways. I just want to enjoy my life and see/do as much as possible. I don't need people getting attached to me. I feel like more of a guy then most of my male friends. Maybe its because I haven't allowed myself to get emotionally attached to anyone in fear of getting hurt? I'm not quite sure really but I'm willing to consider that as an option. But nevertheless, I'm happy with the way things are going.
Its funny to me, but, I've been having to coach my mom with dating. She's an incredible human being. Absolutely amazing. But she's a typical girl. Loves to be smothered in attention, flowers, and compliments. Doesn't know what to do if a guy doesn't text her for 2 days. That basic deal. Here's the best advice to any girl: if he's interested, he'll get in touch with you. but don't be afraid to show some initiative. Confidence is key. If you're happy with yourself and don't look desperate, the guy will fucking notice. Women read all these silly books on how to date, when its really the simplest thing in the world. If a guy wants to play games, he's not worth your time, effort, and waste of emotions. Unless, of course, you're one of those women who also likes to play games. If thats the case, then cut the bullshit and whining and deal with it.
If you can't be yourself around someone, how could you possibly think its going to work out? If someone can't handle the "real you", fuck them (not in the literal sense).
Wow. Strayed a bit there. I don't even know what I was leading up to. Guess I have a tendency to ramble. Or maybe just too much on my mind since (unlike every other living and breathing female) I don't constantly spill words to my friends without purpose. Its kind of a rule. With men, you don't talk much unless asked. Similarly, you don't take boyfriends shopping with you. If you want to destroy a perfectly good relationship, let them hold your purse in Macy's for 2 hours while you try on mini skirts and tube top dresses. Thats a surefire way to end it.
Okay, I'm done with this for the night. I'm getting sick and I should probably get some sleep. As I said previously, I'm constantly on the move in this new life of mine. Tomorrow morning/afternoon, seeing Passion Pit for an intimate and exclusive (being a total elitist snob for about 10 seconds here) show. Only about 20 people will be there. I'm excited, to say at the least. That'll be my third concert of the week actually. Marina and the Diamonds last Friday. Ratatat was on Tuesday (which was so fucking mind blowing by the way). And tomorrow, Passion Pit. I couldn't be happier.
Oh, and just so everyone here knows. I'm going to just be using this to update myself on my life events. Some posts will be novella sized (like this one), and some will be much shorter. I hope at least one person can find something interesting in these posts. If not, I'll enjoy reflecting on them myself.
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